I put down the cup of steaming hot chocolate and licked my lips savoring the last drop of it. Absolutely delicious and sinfully pampering. I smiled and thanked the chirpy waiter who dutifully collected the whopping charges for the drink.
It was 6 pm, time to head back after a day of walking through the streets of mylapore, complete with a snack at saravana bhavan, darshan at kapali temple, a walk by the beach,a splurge of shopping. and of course that sinful cuppa of the magical concoction they call "chocolate". I felt tired, but content.
I don't remember the last time I did any of these in the company of just myself. After all it is taken for granted that there s someone around always, parents, siblings, neighbors, that gang from school, your college buddies, hostel roomates, office acquaintances. After all any company is better than no company right?
But today was different. I got up feeling refreshed and excited about the day. I was going to go out and have some fun, alone. I am not much of a shopper, but I picked 4 sets of clothes in the shortest time I ve ever taken, noticed the shells in the beach sand and the lovely sunset , felt the calm and quiet at the temple and savoured the sweet prasad. I felt an indescribable rush of joy, a spurt of confidence and a streak of independence, and in that solitude, I fell in love with myself all over again !
I guess company is overrated ,sometimes it is more important to know and understand yourself. To spend your time wisely, read a good book, write, sing, dance once in a while , rather than get together for a luncheon, watch a movie with the gang or spend hours on a virtual site with virtual friends who neither know you nor care to find out. I guess its not not having people around that makes you feel lonely but your disconnect with yourself that makes you feel a void. And you don't necessarily need a someone to fill that void, because people come and go.. can we fill it with ourselves instead? Next time you feel your being a narcissist, think again.. if you don't love yourself , who will?